Trying to control a teenager is like trying to put pants on a gorilla. It's just going to frustrate you and make the gorilla really mad."

The difference between trying to control a teenager and manage a teenager is the difference that makes the difference.

A managment approach contains these six criteria:

1) The parents are clearly in charge - not necesarily in control but in charge:

2) The teen, over time, learns and earns the ability to be more in charge of himself or herself;

3) There is a clear map for continually building trust and responsibility;

4) The parents have a way to monitor the progress of the teen;